Ghosts, Justice, and Joy: Choosing Humanity in a Fractured World

In The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store, by James McBride, Vivana announced to the Volunteer Women’s Association of St. Aloysius Catholic Church that the “Negroes on the hill” took advantage of a deaf child and stole most of his money. She had previously accused Eugenio Fabicelli of being so stupid for selling his bakery to a Jew named Malachi instead of her cousin Guido. Half of the useful city news was lost because of that stupid comment.

Turning on the wiper blade doesn’t quite help against the mist on the windshield. Fatty wished paper hadn’t come. Paper had simply asked him where he was.

Friends who know Plitzka well like to imagine him drowning. Ferdie’s friend who happily loans Plitzka the money he needs to buy the Clover Dairy turns out to be a frightening mobster. Plitzka want to burst into tears.

Fatty’s head is stuck inside the hood of an ancient-looking convertible when Rusty yells out that his sister is there. Fatty asks why she’s there. Rust responds with, “Don’t ask me.”

Later, Fatty asks Miggy who would know the tunnels under the state hospital. Miggy just shrugs. Fatty accuses her of wasting air by bringing them up.

The cabinet that sat beneath the shelves that holds the eggs on the five-foot cart is big enough to hold a ghost. The face of the ghost is one that Bullis hasn’t seen in thirty years. Bullis cries to the ghost that he left it behind.

I saw in the news that Trump’s “Big, Beautiful, Bill” now denies medical care access to all trans people impacted by government funds, including Medicaid, the Veterans Administration, and marketplace providers for the Affordable Care Act. I came across this when I was looking for a new primary care physician that would replace some of the compassion that was lost under my current provider, would help oversea my HRT therapy, and would take more seriously my diagnosed internal medical concerns. I found one, but the while I was searching I was disturbed. The provider I had an appointment with on Thursday decided to cancel my appointment when I asked for the pcode for the procedure so that I could at least run it against my deductible. She would also change my billing code if I just mentioned and issue I was having in her interview during a physical, and her staff would slip red cards under the door if she was in danger of not keeping visits to a half hour. The office no longer takes Medicaid patients either. She used to be one of only a couple of physicians serving the trans community, would provide cutting edge treatment, and get awards for it. But, alas, the goose doesn’t always stay golden, and sometimes it is literally cooked. Fortunately, there are more providers today in treatment centers that want to provide quality service. I hope someday, my former physician can find her way back to what made her great. For now, it was time for our paths to part.

Yesterday, Valar Atomics company founder Isaiah Taylor and Utah Governor Spencer Cox announced that they are preparing to have a new nuclear test reactor operating in the state in just one year. The new reactor will be developed in Emory County at the San Rafael Energy Research Center. It is limited to research, training, and development, and for producing electrical power

The energy consumption by AI—more than likely training generative large language models—is being used as the reasoning, suggesting that we are in some kind of AI-race.

The waste this plant produces promises to be dangerously radioactive and expensive. Past accidents like Three-Mile Island and Fukushima cast a shadow on its future. Some of the risks can be mitigated by intensive inspection efforts like the US Navy uses, but Utah has a shoddy record when it comes to inspections. In a culture where regulation is dismissed in favor of profit, this is an accident waiting to happen. Not to mention all the water these processes will consume.

The actual problem is the wasteful use of resources used to keep retraining from scratch a plethora of large language models to be able to generate partially correct responses to queries and conversations. Like a number of industries that the Japanese market took over and dominated, the answer is not to get bigger and badder, it’s to create systems of cooperation of smaller components that are individually and incrementally made better and better. We need to apply the concepts of AI with intelligence to serve all of humanity and not just one particular nation or corporation.

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In Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus, by Chuck Tingle, off to Harriet’s left is a small bedroom too dark with not much of a view. She spends the next half hour bringing in her bags and groceries for the days ahead. Excited to finally begin the next stage of her career, she sets out her spellcrafting supplies before her.

Yesterday, may congregation reminded of the need to play, to remember our ten year old selves and what gave us joy. Too often and for too many reasons we feel guilty for feeling joy, for having “guilty pleasures,” when we really should not feel guilty at all. Who is it that told us we could no longer have fun?

Playing is how we learn. We have to make sure the rules of the game are such that no one is permanently hurt, but if we truly respect the people we play with, why not? Why not have a little harmless fun. It’s possible, like the Puritans before, that the denial of self-pleasure somehow spills out in a way that others are denied the things that make them happy. Sometimes, we need to question why we deny ourselves pleasure and determine whether that is a healthy reason or not. We need to play. It’s in our blood, and in giving in to a little joy we can find hope.

This morning at the Utah Veterans Memoral, I shared a poem about someone coming to see their deceased love one at the memorial. She brings a flag and flowers to lay before the memory. We started with an Air Force bugler playing taps, had a color guard lower the flags and place a wreath. Councilman Whetstone got up to welcome everyone and introduce the speakers. I felt moved to take a few steps forward and salute the flag and memorial wall first. Then I proceeded to the podium where I told a little about my family’s military background, and the people I knew who had died during regular mission work. This is a day that we honor those died in service to their country, including those not necessarily in battle.

Brian Schott’s reading came next. He asked everyone to also remember the veterans that died after service, from suicide and PTSD. How we need to remember to care for the living as well as the dead. The wall behind him had the names of Utahns inscribed on it separated by which conflict they died in.

Before the ceremony, I was struck by an inspiration before the ceremony that I later found out that Mayor Bigelow already has. We would like to see another wall with the names of veterans that have died in Utah, and for families and friends to be able to add their names to that wall by paying a simple fee that covers creating the nameplate or plaque. It is the Utah Veterans Memorial, and not just the “Utah War Memorial.”

Not surprisingly Donald Trump has crossed another line today, one that should have us very concerned. In his Memorial Day tweet, he referred to human beings that have empathy for other human beings as “monsters.” This is especially dangerous rhetoric in that it labels all dissidents as “other,” leads to authoritarian dictatorship, and paves the way for genocide.

My prayer is that those people serving under the executive branch remember that while they are bound to obey lawful orders, they are also bound by the constitution to refuse to obey unlawful orders. Saying you were ordered to do something unlawful or unconstitutional is not a defense and you can be held culpable for the action. They same goes for relaying unlawful orders. Our country is relying on brave men and women to say, “no.”

Pfizer has just gotten the green light to see profits poor in on that backs of citizens in the midst of the pandemic. The COVID-19 epidemic is not over. It has been managed by regular vaccinations going out to the community. The decision by the CDC to only pay for the immunization of those 65 and over or with a health risk belies our friends and family members who died in the last five years. The recent decisions about our healthcare are slowing draining the availabity from the poor and middle class and giving it to the rich. We deserve better than that.

In a world strained by cruelty disguised as policy, progress burdened by profit, and joy eclipsed by guilt, it is all too easy to forget the humanity that binds us. But through every struggle—whether it's the fight for equitable healthcare, the need for ethical innovation, or simply the right to feel joy—we are reminded that our strength lies not in domination, but in compassion. The stories we share, the memories we honor, the people we love, and even the small moments of play and wonder—they are the soul of our resistance. We must build systems that heal, not harm; tell stories that humanize, not dehumanize; and choose, again and again, to believe in a future that holds space for all of us. Especially those too often left behind. Let us remember that hope is not passive—it is a choice, an act, and a promise.