Still Here Burning to be Seen

In The Jasmine Throne, by Natasha Suri, Bhumika tells Priya that she doesn’t see the man her brother Ashok has become. Priya can almost remember the night her brother saved her. Bhumika reminds her how she would sneak Priya up to her rooms and speak with her alone.

In The Oleander Sword, Malini stares meditatively at the patterns in the carpet of the circular room she’s been assigned as she waits for Lord Mahesh to bring his daughter. She hears the door creak open. As Mahesh brings a girl with an unremarkable face and long hair, Malini wonders if he even allowed her a moment of rest before dragging her into Malini’s presence.

In Bury Your Dead, by Louise Penny, Carol Gilbert opens the door to let in the snow-covered alien zombie. As he unwraps himself, feeling like The Mummy, Inspector Beauvoir contemplates that he feels like an entire B-grade film festival.

In Quebec City, Gamache walks into a bright and airy room through a door he was surprised to see, never having noticed it before. He’d been expecting something more formal than all the elderly, white men lounging around in sofas, wing chairs, and arm chairs. The meeting that wasn’t due to start for another five minutes was well underway without him.

In A Trick of the Light, the sequel, Clara stares from the purse she dropped on the floor to the man crouched across from her. She holds the eyes of her friend and neighbor Olivier as if they were life preservers in a drowning ocean.

Sometimes doors to the privileged spaces are hidden to us, and it is only by somehow getting an invitation that we just might see what we were missing. Deliberations are often held in secret because their divulgence can often be damaging. If it’s about matters that are personal and individual, or put others at risk of harm, this is understandable. It is not, however, as excusable when it is a conspiracy to deny influence or power to those who not a member. It is up to us to expose those who would keep their door unnecessarily closed, open the doors, and expose those inside to the light of scrutiny.

Often when we’re full of anxiety and feel like we are drowning, having a friend who can be there for you, to help ground you and encourage you, is a blessing, and not something that should ever be taken for granted.

Later, the Chief Inspector stands quietly in a warm, sunny garden and imagines a murder. Realizing that the victim would have flailed her arms out in the struggle, he sees clearly that he has made a mistake.

In The Beautiful Mystery, Gamache finds himself investigating a murder in a remote reclusive monastery. He circles the body and stops in front of praying monks. He has the impression that the abbot is watching, and the abbot’s energy has continued to diminish.

In More Stars Than Grains of Sand, Al Forsyth shares that extremophiles live where no other animals can. They include brine shrimp that can live in water tens time saltier than the ocean, methane ice worms that live on mounds of methane on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico, “rushing fireball” microbes that can survive boiling water, Lazarus microbes that can sustain three thousand times as much radiation as humans, sulfur-breathing bacteria, frilly leeches that can survive immersion in liquid nitrogen, and lungfish that can survive without food or water for months during droughts.

In Bull Moon Rising, the holders’ sons and daughter wouldn’t understand Aspeth’s guild adventures. She is a stranger to the nobility she grew up with. She peppers her husband with questions about his magic hand and how it works.

In The Women, by Kristin Hannah, Frankie, who has volunteered to work as an Army nurse in Vietnam, is on a bus from the airport to her first duty station. She sees a set of gates manned by American Military police as the bus slows. Not much farther, the driver stops the bus and directs her off. Worrying about the duffel that hadn’t claimed yet, the driver informs her it will be delivered. She gathers up her purse and travel bag and proceeds to the door indicated.

After the death of President Kennedy, not feeling safe from the Red Scare, her family, the McGraths, built a wall around their property, and enclosed it with a gate, as if bricks and mortar can protect a person. After her return from Vietnam, Frankie parks her car near those of her parents in the four-car garage.

In The House In the Cerulean Sea, by Travis J. Klune, Linus bristles when Extremely Upper Management questions the thoroughness of his reports. Claiming a vested interest in the investigation, Mr. Werner warns Linus to not disappoint him. When Linus asks what the master of the orphanage may have done to require his oversight, he is told that the reports are lacking and that they need to know more. He is then rudely cut off and dismissed.

In Somewhere Beyond the Sea, Arthur Franklin Parnassus steps out the wood and sees the house for the first time in twenty-eight years. Next to the house is an overgrown garden and a gazebo, where as a boy of nine years old with fire in his blood, he carved his initials to prove he existed. Set away from the main house, a guest house that was not t0here when he was forced to leave looks to be in better shape. Going around to the back of the home, where scorched double wooden doors are sealed with a rusty padlock and lead down to the basement, Arthur holds in his hands the keys to the padlock and all the keys to the house.

Ten years later, after Linus has come to live with Arthur, Sal, a shy orphan writes the very moving poem for Linus’s birthday, See Me, in which the narrator of the poem asks that they simply be seen for who they are, and not someone to be feared. The narrator refuses to be defined by boxes and binaries. They contend that by living their colorful truth, they will eventually “burn away all the shadows until only light remains”--until the person they are addressing has no choice but to see them for who they are.

This poem really moved me, and I encourage you to look it up and read it. The book was dedicated to the trans community by TJ Klune, and we all deserve to be seen and heard. We need legislators that are willing to make space for trans lives to be heard, from the youth, to those just transitioning, to those who are shining examples of what being able to transition has done for them, and how they contribute back to this world. I, too, want to burn so bright that all the shadows are gone and only the light remains.

When the new director of DICOMY (Department in Charge of Magical Youth) and DICOMA (Department in Charge of Magical Adults) sends a new inspector to sniff out violations of their authoritarian policy, the children decide to use Linus and Arthur’s room as their base of operations. Arthur shakes his head each time comes out of his room with a new idea to greet the inspector. Lucy’s second idea is wearing a red T-shirt with red letters spelling out “DADDY’S LITTLE DEVIL.”

In the last two weeks of my end of year vacation, I have finished ten novels, usually reading from morning until evening. The days are incredibly short now, but gradually lengthening. We passed the winter solstice nine days ago, and have just over a day left until we put 2024 behind us. We are almost officially a quarter of the way into the 21st century. Hard to believe, isn't it? From Y2K through recessions and COVID, here we are. We are still here. And last I checked, we are still not going away.

The end of this year hit me and a number of other people with flu-like symptoms. Hot drinks with honey and lemon, a new smart humidifier, and doses of Theraflu have helped me; as does occasional spicy food increasing the blood flow through my veins and arteries.

Used to watching my purifier kick off when I fry food, I was surprised to see it detect bad quality air occasionally just sitting on my couch reading. I heard today that frying and indoor cooking with gas increases the PM 2.5 particulate matter. Is it possible that gas heating has the same effect? It might explain why I feel worse during the winter months and my symptoms dissipate somewhat when I go out, or when we have good precipitation scrubbing the air. It’s something worth thinking about.

I am saddened at the passing of Jimmy Carter. He fought for human rights as president and continued to live a humble life of service after he left. He didn’t mope around when he lost to Ronald Reagan. Instead, he went out and got to work. When I heard he was working with Habitat for Humanity and I discovered what they were, I had increased respect for the ex-president who was given short shrift after events he could not control. Here was a man who didn’t just sit around hoping for a better world, he got off his butt to make it happen. That is an inspiration.

Kiera Birkeland is resigning from the Utah Legislature. She has accepted a position as a policy advisor for a company in Missouri. What she failed to do, however, is disclose that she was looking for a position out of state while she was running for re-election. She ran on housing and homelessness. What she delivered was anti-trans legislation under the guise it was protecting girls. At this point, I am more than happy to see her go. I am ecstatic. An attractive TERF, she has caused a lot of damage to our community and added to the laws that need to someday be repealed. I am hoping that the bill she planned to run to stop people from changing their gender marker on their birth certificate leaves with her.

In a couple of days, I will take over duties as the Chair of the Utah Stonewall Dems. With the incoming administration, I doubt I will have opportunities to visit the White House to witness signing historic nondiscrimination legislation like my predecessor had under Biden. No, it's more likely I will get plenty of opportunities to show support in other ways, at rallies and working to recognize and elect leaders who will champion the cause of the LGBTQ+ community, continuing to build and activate people that want to see positive change who burn to help dispel the shadow so that we can all be seen and be heard. Here's to the New Year! See you in the next quarter century.